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(And yes, men do it too -- but I'll get to that later.) I want to clarify that the doubts were not the garden-variety nerves that typically accompany any life-changing decision.

They weren't just "cold feet" or "wedding day jitters." Rather, the women in my study talked about issues, concerns, doubts and other red flags that existed throughout the course of their relationship. The problem was that they had brushed their concerns aside.

DEAR AMY: My daughter has been seriously dating a young man for about the last six years. He is an immigrant/refugee from a war-torn country and has struggled with serious psychological issues relating to his childhood experiences.

He recently totaled his car and got a DUI, confirming that he is an alcoholic.

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My goal was to uncover the reasons so many women make this mistake. It is too late, too embarrassing and/or too expensive to call off the wedding 5. It's often easier to break up with cheater or a liar (although far too many women don't do that when they should either!I know you probably want to pull your hair out knowing your daughter's friend doesn't deserve her, or are wishing that her boyfriend would just move to another city (or country... Unfortunately, there's no magic dust I can send you to make that person go away, but I can give you some suggestions from our amazing Ask Elizabeth girls and experts on how to deal with the situation.There's no one-size-fits-all answer; every situation is different, and only you can know which approach is right for your specific dynamic.The first time had to do with a close girlfriend, and the other involved a toxic ex-boyfriend (whom she and everyone else who loved me tried every which way to get me to walk away from).My mom and I have always had an amazing closeness -- we can share almost anything -- but I'll admit these were two times that we had some serious tension between us.If we understand why they stay in a relationship with the wrong guy, or go through with a doomed-from-the-start marriage, perhaps we can help them figure out what they are really searching for. He is a really nice guy; I don't want to hurt his feelings. ) But when it comes to nice guys, it can be hard to figure out why you aren't happy together.